I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
