You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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