what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
