you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
