I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
