Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
