If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
