Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
