I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
