Dude my mom stole all your condoms
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
