I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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