O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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