Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
