Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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