In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
love makes seman taste better
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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