ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
