he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
