i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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