Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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