Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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