Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
