Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
