dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just had sex bonerless
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
