Don't you send me to vm
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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