OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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