best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
