ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
