you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
