nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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