i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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