You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
