I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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