It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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