I feel like abortions should bother me more
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
