Is it normal to miss your booty call?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
