i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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