Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
