i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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