OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
