..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
