My brain says no but my pants say off.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize