I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
