first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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