Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize