It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
