you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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