dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
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I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
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This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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