we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
