My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
