i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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