it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
