All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
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