After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
