The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
