there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
