May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.