Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
