Don't you send me to vm
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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