i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize