My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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