We're like a lot better than the average bears
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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