Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
