Dual....:-)
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
