SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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