before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
