You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
