once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
